My Own Commandments

Wow. So today I was scanning through the Huffington Post site, where I ran across a suggestion that everyone should have their own personal set of commandments to live by. I thought, "Aha! I already have one!" as I know that sometime after my divorce I came up with such a list (although it may have been more directed towards dating than towards life as a whole) and that I have indeed brought up that list at other times in my blog.

So I enthusiastically started mucking through two years of myspace blogs in search of my own personal commandments. I found a list of life goals and a few requirements for potential suitors, but my personal commandments were nowhere to be found. I began to feel disturbingly like they have been lost somewhere between my transition from the "Under 35 divorce support" web board on which they were originally posted, the "Graduates of said board who wanted to keep in touch" web board, and my myspace blog.

I then went to search my email archives, where I believed I stored an email from a friend that was my original inspiration. I discovered that the email was gone, and felt like a piece of my own personal history had somehow disappeared with it. It's an odd feeling to think that a few typed lines could hold such a close place in your heart, but I guess it makes sense when I consider how much of myself I tied up in them at the time. And of course everything in that period of my life felt so completely melodramatic that it probably just triggers a stir-up of a bunch of overly excitable crap from the furthest depths of my subconscious mind.

And so I now embark on the rather daunting task of defining what I want for myself, or where I'm going, or SOMETHING... how can I make the list if I don't even know what I'm listing? I guess I'll treat it like any good blog- you don't really know where it's going until you get there, you just have to take some vaguely-defined idea and hope it takes wing (just to warn you, it often doesn't!).

(And this first one is the hardest, it's always the "getting going" that comes with the most difficulty)

1. Be "me" at all times. This seems obvious, but for whatever reason there are always a few people in my life that seem to make me feel 5 inches tall, and in their presence I turn into a vacuous little blonde airhead who seems to be stuck about a year and a half out of high school. I'd like to stuff that annoying little chit into a meat grinder, but instead I'll just settle for pretending she doesn't exist and figure out a way to make her stay in her box where she belongs.

2. Listen, REALLY listen, when my friends give me advice. They sometimes see me more clearly than I do myself, and to a "one" they all tell me what I need to hear.

3. Put more value on where my life is going than where it is now. When things are going well it's easy to sometimes rest on my laurels and not keep on with the keeping on. Rest less, work more.

4. Get fit. Be fit. Stay fit. That may seem obvious, but if you've ever been UN-fit, you'll know this is harder than it sounds.

5. Stay funny, but be nice at the same time. I would like to keep the funny parts but eliminate those occasional rare "joking" comments that can come out the wrong way. It makes me wince just thinking about them.

6. Stay in touch. Don't ever again become the hermit of my early-mid-20's. Know that if I feel like I'm getting there, something is very, very wrong.

7. Moderation in love as in life. Embrace both sides of the equation: Be willing to put myself out there and take some chances while maintaining good judgement and trusting my gut. And no, that doesn't mean I'll start responding more favorably to booty texts. Sorry, guys.

8. Be reasonable. Have reasonable expectations of people, and of life. And perhaps more importantly, of myself.

9. Let go. Don't be afraid to let things happen. Don't be afraid to let things go. Get a little out of control sometimes.

10. Deliver what I promise. Don't pretend to offer something I'm not, don't pretend to be able to do things I can't (or won't) and just generally put on the table exactly what I'm offering.

11. Listen to my gut. Pretty much every personal "to-do" list I've ever written has this same advice. When I listen to it, it's right. When I don't, I pretty much always regret it.

I guess these commandments are things I try to do on a daily basis anyways, but maybe by defining them and putting them on paper I'll be able to keep them more in the forefront of my daily life.

What are your commandments?

Erica.